Changing vs Growing

It is a really snowy weekend here in Alberta. It's April, and we've had a taste of spring but winter is always reluctant to leave. One more blast of snow before spring can really stretch its limbs and settle in. I like the snow, and I like the changing seasons. I love the fresh, open, warmness of summer. I also love the cozy, crisp beauty of winter.

We go through seasons of change as humans too. Last night I was thinking about changing and growing and how they are different from each other. In relationships especially- one person might be more intent than the other to grow and change for the better. And they are comitted to do whatever they can to make the relationship better (maybe that's you!). The other person isn't motivated this way (they are happy with the way things are), but may try to "change" in order to make sure the other person doesn't leave. We might think the other person is changing because they are acting differently. But if behaviour changes only out of a fear of being abandoned, those changes aren't real and lasting. They are temporary and will probably reap confusion and bitterness. Real change- GROWTH- happens when a person examines what they believe and chooses to act differently, of their own accord, because their roots have changed. It's an inward change that expresses itself in outward ways rather than only an outward change in order to appease the other person and not be abandoned.

People "leak" their real beliefs in small ways. You can't often figure them out according to the grandiose things they do that seem impressive. Pay attention to the small things- how often they happen, what kind of pattern they create, and what kind of effect they have on you and other people. This is what I am learning.