Welcoming Christmas

Assuming we don't get warm weather over the next few days, this is the first Christmas in a long while that will actually be "white." I am very happy about that! I love looking out my windows and seeing the snow clinging to the trees outside or on the rooftops and in people's window sills. The Christmas lights are even prettier when there's snow and ice around to reflect their colours. That's what I like. But the snow is not a welcome sight to everyone. It has been extremely cold here in Alberta. The roads are treacherous. Snow removal crews were up for hours. Heating bills will be really high. You could get frostbite...

This is also the first year in my whole life that I am not attending church. About mid October I said to myself with a little angst: "Where will I sing Christmas carols this year???" I anticipated having a less than satisfying Christmas "experience" without having a church to go to.

But it hasn't turned out that way. I have intentionally listened to my favorite Christmas cds at work and in my car, and sung along. A friend and I were shopping and I mentioned my sadness over not being able to sing Christmas carols with others in a church setting. She said, "Why can't you sing them other places? Why not in a store like this?" True enough- without even thinking about it, I had been humming along to the Christmas music while I was shopping. I have met with friends and enjoyed fulfilling conversation in Christmas decorated restaurants. I have laughed with people at work and exchanged cards and chocolate and shared Christmas dinner with them. I am having my family over to my new place Christmas morning, where we'll give each other gifts and enjoy some good food. I helped little ballerinas put Christmas crafts together during their ballet class. One sweet little girl gave me her wreath of bells when she was finished. I've watched some Christmas movies I've never seen before. I decorated the Christmas tree with my new roomate. Being away from church has caused me to find my own ways of experiencing the joy and reflection of Christmas.

I grew up with a lot of church activity and much anxious obsession about God. This year, I am now resting from that. I ask myself what Christmas really means to me. We sing Christmas carols that talk about "welcoming Christ" and celebrating his birth. I think it's hard to do that when you're taught about God in a way that doesn't make you want to welcome him... The God I learned about growing up caused me a lot of guilt and confusion. The God I am getting to know now is someone I am actually drawn to. None of us are stupid. We might be taught to pretend to welcome things and people into our lives when we really don't want to because this is somehow polite or virtuous. The real Jesus doesn't need politeness. Whether or not we want to welcome him is our choice. For me, my growing desire to welcome him is happening alongside a new understanding of who he really is. So this is my growing understanding of Christmas.

My favorite Christmas song of all the ones I've listened to so far is from Handel's Messiah- "He Shall Feed His Flock." (singing along to THIS kind of music in my car has been hilarious!) These are words Jesus said about himself and they are causing my heart to heal and celebrate this year:

"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd; and he shall gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young... Come unto Him, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and He shall give you rest.. Take his yoke upon you, and learn of Him; for he is meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."

Merry Christmas and I wish all of you rest, peace and joy for your souls!

Love, Carla