What I know... What I don't know...

I've been travelling through personal transformation over the past year and a half. My transformation has been enhanced greatly by the help of Relationship-Makeover. I've realized some new and wonderful things tonight and just had to share them.

So many of my fears and trappings have been because of a belief that I don't know. Uncertainty... Anxiety... Feeling so afraid of the unknown, that I would try to piece as much information together that I could in my head before taking a step forward... Obsessing, but not really finding truth. Going around and around in circles. It was extremely tiresome. What I say next is not to blame, but to explain: as a child, my parents didn't help me KNOW. They were uncertain themselves. I never learnt how to know things... like, that I was capable of taking care of myself... that I had value and a purpose beyond just being a "good" girl... that I should imagine and dream big and BE ME. I'm so thankful to be learning this now. These are truths we all need to know. Now I understand.

At the same time, the truth is... I will never know everything. And because I'm starting to know who I am, I don't need to. I don't need to know EVERYTHING to be valuable or to live my life successfully; and the reality that I don't know everything does not mean I'm not valuable or sucessful! My value exists totally separate from what I know or what I don't know.... (though the simple knowledge that I'm valuable makes a heck of a difference in my head...) This helps me move forward... I can take a step forward, know that I don't know everything, but that's okay, because I'll learn as I go!

And I've also just realized how because I was so obsessed about NOT KNOWING, I neglected to know things that I could easily know! It wasn't helping me at all! For example, my finances. I'm just starting to be intentional about knowing exactly where I'm at with my money. In the past, it was too painful to really look at those facts because I felt like if I was failing in my finances, I wasn't valuable. Plus, with all the stuff I was obsessing so much about, I didn't have a lot of space left in my head to think about finances!

Now I'm seeing, there's a lot I can know if I choose to pay attention to it.

And now I'm also seeing that it's best to know certain things first before we can know other things. Like, before anything else in this entire world, I need to know that I am valuable just because I am. If that knowledge isn't in place, I can't build anything on top of it.

What do you know?