Because I Am

Yesterday felt like a big SLIP. Slippery dark falling feelings- depression. Going around this circle as many times as I have, I still get duped and wonder "how did I get here again?" Today I told myself, "You are free to feel whatever you feel. You don't have to feel a certain way. Your feelings are there for a reason." I feel lonely, and this makes sense. I just left a job where I had warm friendships with a variety of people. Now I work in an office where I'm alone quite often. I've been stepping back from certain involvements at my church, and this also means less social interaction with the people there. Another perfectly sane reason to feel lonely. It's just so hard to feel lonely, and this is why I often choose to bypass the feeling altogether and slip down into fitful depression instead. Choosing to pull myself back up into my emotions and the reasons they are there isn't necessarily more comfortable, but it is a relief. I feel alive again.