This morning I went to a different church and sat through a sermon I, okay I'll just say it- hated. I'm not purely a sermon-hater, and I've thankfully found many in the past two years to engage my spirit, my mind and heart. But this morning I was BORED. Completely bored. The fake plants at the front seemed a bit more interesting to me. I inspected my nails. Inspected my ring. Twiddled with my earrings. Tapped my toes. I wished I could have been stimulated by looking around at the people, but as I was sitting near the front this would have felt odd.Isn't it odd though, to subject ourselves to things that we have a hard time stomaching? Why do we do this? The style of his preaching, the phrases, the predictability, the little guilt pokes... I grew up on that. I've heard it a thousand times. I'm sick of it. I don't want to dine at that table any longer.
Some things in life are just boring. I don't think I'll force myself to be interested anymore. We delight in children because they are engaged, they are interested and eager to learn. But if something doesn't appeal to them, they don't make any bones about not liking it. I want to be the same way (with a bit of added adult maturity, hopefully). And I think part of that means being aware of what does NOT engage me. And I won't feel guilty about that.
Anyone else with similiar experiences?... Thoughts?...
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17 comments:
As someone who sat through the same service and heard the same sermon, I can understand your feelings. It was predictable in its approach, complete with 4 principles (personally I hate principle-based sermons, probably because I've heard so many shitty ones, not because principles are in and of themselves bad). What is interesting is that, for the most part, I agreed with the content of the sermon (I am sure that my interpretation of salvation would differ from his!). What I disagreed with the most was the guilt trip. And as someone who has tried to preach a time or two, this is something I struggle with: how do you motivate people? I have become convinced that the only true motivation is inspiration. To inspire someone is to light a fire in them, so that the will to act is something that comes from their own being, and is in no way forced upon them externally. The only true motivation is internal. I will only do that which I believe I must do or want to do. If I act out of guilt, the motivation will quite quickly dissipate. The same goes for fear. But if I act out of love, out of a core belief that I must act, for my own sake and for the sake of others, then that is something that has a chance to last beyond a Sunday morning of feeling guilty and manipulated.
Hey Monkey,
A very good question- how do you motivate people? I'm thinking about that a lot too. I like your answer that it has to do with something that comes from our own will. I think that's really true and I think a lot of us learn at a young age to become disconnected from our own will. This is even taught as "biblical" in some places! I wonder if we are sometimes too focused on visible results. So a preacher has certain visible results in mind and tries to manipulate people so he can see that his words have "born fruit" so to speak. I won't judge the motivations of the pastor this morning- this is more of a general comment from my musings. I prefer sermons that share the truth with as little "additives" as possible, and that somehow connects with me as a human being and as someone seeking for the invisible. A lot of vague terms perhaps. :) If I leave with a sense of connecting with something (or someone...) beyond just the preacher or the music, that to me says there was good invisible stuff going on (and this is subject to where I'm at that morning too I would say). :) What really motivates you? (yes, I could see your interpretation of salvation differing a lot from his!)
Sermons...from a preachers perspective, when you have to do them week in week out, it's hard to keep your authenticity from sinking into a conveyer belt mentality. I try to follow the borrowed maxim of Buechner who reflected that we should sit down before the typewriter and open a vain. on my blog I have a few things to say that maybe chime with some of your frustrations which I as a preacher who often bores himself) share. Also got a couple of sermons on there that have provesn helpful for sleeping disorders.
Ha ha! My trouble is my boredom produces more anger and indignation than a good old nap. Maybe I should try the other sometime... :) I really like Buechner as well. Authenticity. I guess some people's authenticity is only as deep as how much they pay attention to themselves in every day life. I've really enjoyed your blog! It seems you are someone who pays very good attention to yourself. I understand it's no small task to put that much heart into a sermon each week. Maybe it's the preacher's actual "person" that also preaches to us, whether they're aware of it or not. For example, before and after the service yesterday, the pastor (first of all) heralded with a big smile that he had met me before (which he hadn't). So I introduced myself. Then after the service he looked at me rather mindlessly and said that he didn't think we had met? I guess I felt a similar lack of "presence" in his sermon. Which isn't to say that God can't use any of us beings despite our flaws. But this may define my beef a bit better.
Well being one of those guys that may at times be boring those sitting out in the room trying to find some way to pass the time I would say het let the poor guy know. No one ever says, "Man your sermon realy sucked". I don't need to know why people may or may not like something but I will tell you this when someone says something good about your sermon if its been awhile since someone has said something bad it's hard to have perspective on things.
Or you could use the trick that my roomies and I did to get through chappel back in the day. Simply have several drinks before hand and it's all just a little amuzing.
Carla, I would like to invite you to attend First Assembly on Sunday! I haven't had to sit through a sermon like that for years!
I love that you're always so hungry to understand everything. I think you would enjoy a sermon from First.
Cheers!
Andrewman,
So THAT'S how you guys survived Prairie chapels... Why didn't you ever invite me in on the secret??? :) Thanks for nothing.
I like your point about being honest. I was wondering what I would have said if the pastor had asked me what I thought... I hope I can be an honest person both ways.
Thanks Travis for the invite! I haven't been to first assembly in a looong time. I'm glad you find your sermons to be really stimulating for you. I do still really appreciate my home church (Trinity) so I'm not sure when I'd make it over to your's. But who knows? :) Happy wedding planning!
Hi Carla, i tried replying via my own blog, but being a blog novice i've either sent you three messages or failed to send one. The smart money is on the latter option. Just to say I'v no problems with that at all and equally have enjoyed your questions and reflections and was also going to ask if i might add your blog to my list (i've yet -but am in process of negotiating) to create -oh and my name is paul.
Hey Carla!
Hehe, I just went for lunch with a bunch of people today and heard them talk for a while about how bad that sermon was. I guess most people in our congregation are just repulsed by a certain style, huh? Or maybe just many people in the world are? One person commented that maybe she had too much of a consumerist attitude toward sermons, and that she was just unhappy with this sermon because it "didn't give her what she had come looking for", and maybe she should be more open. I agree with not having a consumerist take on church- shopping around for a product and then taking your business elsewhere if they don't give you the quick fix you wanted. However, sometimes I think there is as much value in being bored, offended, repulsed, etc. with a sermon. Here is my take: I try to figure out what exactly it is about this person's words that are making mewant to throw something at the altar (sounds like it was formulaic guilt and fear tactics this time) and then try to figure out if I use any of these words or tactics with myself or others. Chances are if it offends, repulses or bores me, it does so to a lot of other people who are a journey searching for God like I am. It's a good way to pass the time, anyways. Or, you could play sermon bingo with someone beside you- each person choose a word, and you get a point every time the preacher says it (sounds like "hell" and "saved" might have been good ones in this case?). Loser buys the beer after church!
Where were you last Sunday?-sermon bingo sounds really fun! About that person's worry about consumerism- for me the feeling was, "I couldn't take this every week..." so I wouldn't choose to go there. Not all is perfect at Trinity either, but I do find that satisfying substance most of the time. And maybe it's more than that too- it's also an atmosphere of respect; we aren't "talked down" to. Like if a pastor has a sense that they are telling us what they think we need to hear because we have no minds of our own, that really rubs me the wrong way and I don't get much value out of that because something's off in the world of "everyone in the room being of equal value as the person up front." So is it consumerism or choice? What do you think? Maybe it's the same kind of thing at the heart of it. Is consumerism always wrong? Are some things of higher quality than others? (I think so) I like how you take the approach of thinking more constructively (analytically) about it (like figuring out exactly what irks you). I shall learn from you!! It's less reactive and more proactive. :) Thanks a lot Gabby friend!
Hi Carla,
just wanted to drop you a note quick note. Being impetuous by nature i've decided a months blogging is enough for me. i've really enjoyed reading your blogs and found your comments and questions helpful and insightful. I just wanted to wish you peace and joy in your journey and may you find christs presence in the present of all ordinaryness.
Paul
Carla - you will think I am off my head. But yesterdays note, was actually a mistake. My blog explains all. feel free to expunge me from your list.
profuse apologies
Paul
Hey again girl!
I loved the bookstore too... there's nothing like a rainy Sunday afternoon in a bookstore... sigh. Anyways, I definitely agree with the not being talked down to thing. What a good reminder to me that people are most often inspired to think when we give them the license and the challenge to do so, rather than just stuffing their heads with someone else's thoughts. A good ponder for me to chew on as my kiddos show up to class tomorrow, so perhaps I can inspire them to think...
Eat a few Mike n Ikes for me!
I'm confident you'll do a fantastic job of inspiring your kids to think! And I wish you all that you'll need to do this. If I ever teach again, I hope that would be my approach too. It's not easier, but probably more fulfilling for everyone in the long term. You have fortunate students! :) See you soon Gabby!
Hi, Carla. Great stuff. Not so much shooting from the hip as shooting from the lip. I like it. And you are absolutely right! It is the authority of authenticity that counts. not easy to do it week in week out tho
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