I am learning, ever so slowly, to face my emotions bravely and graciously. I do not need to feel guilty about them. I can freely interact with them in order to learn more about myself, to pursue deeper healing, to become more free to be the person I was created and intended to be.
I am alive! There is a life force in me! I am timidly becoming more aware of it. It is from God. God delights in it because it is from his very self. It is meant to dance and shine in all its glory, to bring glory to its Creator. This just happens. The glory doesn't stop with me; it points to greater glory.
We like to measure and control life because it is scary to us. We live in seeming finite-ness. Time, death, the sun rises and sets. The infinite scares the crap out of us. But maybe it would be best to learn to live in the deep infinite now because we'll be swimming in it for all eternity. God has put eternity in our hearts. Could it be that depression is to live in denial of this eternity?
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3 comments:
Carla, are you feeling depressed? Your writings are becoming increasingly less happy. Perhaps living for experiences, moments and memories would distract from trying to understand everything. It's kind of like looking at a picture book of trees while you're walking through a forest!
What's making you think that life is scary?! Life is fasinating, beautiful, ugly, challenging, adventurous, slow, fast, complicated, simple, boring and exciting. It is what we make it!
If life isn't what you want it to be, change it baby!
Hey Travis. Thanks for your concern. No, I'm not feeling depressed, but feel like I'm coming out of a long time struggle with depression and am feeling reflective about it I guess. I'm actually feeling quite hopeful and optimistic! That's what those dancing sunflowers were trying to communicate... :)
Oh that's good! I am so looking forward to going to your birthday party!
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