Depth Perception

Today before I began my afternoon of teaching, I went for a walk around the straight, square and slushy streets of my town. As I rounded a corner, I saw a large moving truck parked in front of a familiar house, a ramp spread out across the sidewalk and onto their walk way towards their open front door. A funny feeling came over me and I slowed my pace... The house belonged to the newly resigned pastor of my former church. An admired and well-intentioned man who had given a lot to the church and the community, he had also been the cause of some unfortunate incidents over the past few years, one of which I was a part. There have been letters, meetings, vast misunderstandings, casualties, and now, his departure.

I had slowed my pace... Do I stop by? Muster up some friendly conversation? "So, are you excited about your move? Your new job?" What would I say? I half tip-toed around the moving truck ramp, through the thick snow in their yard, glancing into the front door to see if there was anyone who would see me... Heard the vacuum cleaner going, saw their grandaughter on her way down the stairs... I kept walking. Perhaps to my fault, I didn't feel like disturbing whatever peace graced the house that afternoon.

I remember another house I visited last year, about this time... My former church's recently resigned associate pastor- someone who had sacrificed much in an attempt to bring some more light to a somewhat dark place. It was later in the evening, and they were trying to cram the few remaining bits and pieces into their moving truck. Most of the lights were off in the house. They had a box of perishable food items sitting on the kitchen floor and they told me to take whatever I wanted. A sort of quiet sadness hung in the air. I asked if people had come to say goodbye. "Not too many," they said, and listed two or three families.

I wish I could see more redemption. I wish miracles had happened, more eyes were opened, revelations, healing, new understandings of grace. God knows I've prayed for it, as have many others. It seems instead that we are given deaths in various forms, exits, confusion. But maybe redemption has a life of its own and takes us on paths that sometimes quit, sometimes move away, sometimes live in confusion and hurt for a little while. Whatever paths it winds, there's a reason we can't see too far ahead, and there's gotta be hope on the other side.