I think I have always been afraid of Jesus. I've known "about" him my whole life, sang all the "Jesus Loves Me" songs in church (which could easily be re-sung as "Jesus Coddles Me" according to most of our understandings...) But when I read his stories in the Bible, his words to people always struck me. His strong statements stick in my psyche like a dart in a dart board. His "lack" of words too... Like how many times did Jesus actually say to people "I love you"? He didn't really walk around like a fairy godmother sprinkling pixie dust on people's heads, oozing warmth and building a great basis for all our warm loving songs about him... And it's not that I see him as a tyrant bent on insult and callousness at all. There are tales of tenderness too, I know. But something about how he interacted with people most of the time has never really fit with my experience of "love"... Makes me afraid to meet him myself. Some might say this means I don't understand how much he really loves me... I'm starting to wonder if I know what love really looks like... And hence my distance.
There's a recent figure in my life who tries to be like Jesus as much as he can. Though he is kind and welcoming, he doesn't hold my hand and ooze sentiments of warmth at all times. He tells me the truth. He is often direct and doesn't mince his words. At first this kind of love intimidated me and I felt strongly uncomfortable. But as I slowly experience, simultaneously, the twinkle in his eye when I tell him a new discovery, or the way he rejoices with me when I share reality from my heart and my desire to grow, I would gladly give up any "coddling" kind of love in exchange. And this makes me wonder more and more about Jesus... Kind friend, yes; greatest lover, yes. Also most excellent truth teller, and not always in the warmest way possible. I think I'll keep taking some timid steps in his direction.
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3 comments:
I love this post. Thought provoking. I totally agree with you regarding many people's vision to turn Christ into a warm fuzzy blank, dispensing self-esteme and ego boosting tablets upon request. I wonder too, how much of Jesus' story is left untold? Did he hold his mother and tell her he loved her? I imagine He did. Did he embrace his friends after a long absence? Did he hold the hand of one in suffering? I believe so. You're right that love does not necessarily coddle, but rather is truthful, and at times, may even seem severe. Yet, I fully believe that Jesus displayed moments of tenderness, moved by compassion and love for those around Him. In my own life, this has been part of my experience of knowing and learning to know Jesus. He has truly been the One who holds me in my pain, kisses the tears on my cheek, and strokes my hair in the darkness. I believe that the way in which Christ's love is displayed to us depends on what is most needed at any given time to spur us on toward Godliness. Sometimes it's tenderness, othertimes it is the hard truth that we don't want to hear. Sometimes it may be discipline or challenge, other times it may be a moment of awe at a beautiful vista, inspiring our hearts to worship. At the present, I am overwhelmed. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that WE should be called children of God! - And loved as children.
Thank-you for directing my gaze to the ONE whos loves is perfect.
Thanks Anna. I know my post sounded a bit leaning toward one side. I totally agree that Christ is also the one who holds us, comforts us, etc. I wonder if in my attempt to gain a more realistic understanding, it's easy to lean to the opposite extreme for a time?
I'd run. He died for us!
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